Saturday, April 30, 2016

Marriage with a Ukrainian woman – slavery or an equal relationship

Dear friends,

Marriage with foreign women have been a part of American (Western) history since the beginning of time. Today, “mail order brides” as a definition still exist; as for me, that is a very sad fact. This term is very humiliating and repulsive to us Ukrainian women. Many Western men looking for a woman from Ukraine still believe that marriage with a Ukrainian woman means so-called slavery or an “easy” marriage with a beautiful woman who cannot fend for themselves.

I am sure that marriage with a Ukrainian woman is not based upon exploitation and slavery. In my opinion, Ukrainian online dating is an unique method of meeting and marrying someone raised differently and in different parts of the world. In most cases they are searching for someone to spend the rest of their life with. They are in need of a partner to love. Those who are lucky find their match. Others might keep on searching for an equal partnership.

I have a German male friend who spent a great deal of time and money searching for a Ukrainian or Russian woman. He was not lucky with his previous marriages. He had been divorced twice. He wanted to find a special woman to share his life with and felt he would have more luck by looking in another country. He made a connection with a Ukrainian dating service.

I have to say honestly that his search for a wife from Ukraine was costly. It took a long time and several trips to finally meet the right family and the right woman to marry and bring back home. He remained in Ukraine for weeks while getting to know each other. Her family approved. They married before leaving for Germany. They fell in love, he later told me.

“This was a match made in heaven,” he said. She helped him, and he sent her to school. She learned how to drive, and he bought her a car. He was never this happy he once said to me. She was not out to exploit him and neither was her family.

In a quest such as this there is no one way to know who is out to exploit whom. It could have been the one searching, or the one waiting to be found. There could be evil intent in anyone, but not always in everyone who is genuinely searching for a Ukrainian woman for marriage.

The couple I previously mentioned has now been happily married for many years. He paid to send her to college. She now has her Master’s Degree. He taught her how to drive a car, and he bought her a brand new convertible. She cooked and took care of him. She kept a clean house. They have become partners in life and in love. I would call this an equal relationship, wouldn’t you? They met, learned to know each other and fell deeply in love. This cannot possibly be referred to as exploitation and never had been from the moment they met.

There are known instances when two people, born and raised in the same country, join hands in matrimony with evil intention. The groom could be rich and the bride might have been poor. He might have earned his Doctorate while she never attended high school or earned any degree. No “mail order bride” marriage might have been involved in cases like this and yet this type of marriage was based on exploitation.

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